This is one of my favorite funeral poems. it is generally attributed to Henry Van Dyke, but I have seen it listed as other authors is some books and blogs.
Avoid using a poem that is very religious in nature, specially if you come from a family with varied religious beliefs. I like this for the ending of a eulogy speech, because it gives the mourners a chance to look at death from their own individual religious, ethnic perspectives while all being able to see it as a positive thing.
A parable of immortality
A ship sails and I stand
Watching till she fades on the horizon
And someone at my side says,
“She is gone”.
Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that is all;
She is just as large as when I saw her.
The diminished size and total loss of sight
Is in me, not in her,
And just at the moment
When someone at my side says
“She is gone”
There are others who are watching her coming,
And other voices take up a glad shout
“There she comes!”
Over the past ten or twenty years, society has begun to think about death in new ways, and the role of the funeral director has adapted to meet these new needs. These days, funeral homes are seen as much more of a ‘one stop shop’, offering services that range from floral tributes to lasting keepsakes.
For an increasing amount of people, whilst grief is obviously still at its core, the funeral of a loved one has become an opportunity to celebrate their life, rather than focus on mourning. Traditional black attire and solemn hymns have begun to give way to the occasional introduction of subtle color and even favorite pop songs. The funeral director has needed to adapt to this cultural drift and offer a broader range of services to fit both with this more contemporary approach as well as the traditional one still favored by many people, particularly by the older generations.
Since the option of pre-payment was introduced twenty or thirty years ago, pre-paid funeral plans have steadily been on the increase. A growing number even go beyond this, not only paying for their own funeral in advance, but planning the actual ceremony, so the family approaches the funeral director knowing the full wishes of their loved one.
To deal as efficiently as they can with a death, funeral directors also need to be aware of the shifting business of life. As well as dealing first-hand with grief, they can offer counseling, legal assistance and financial guidance. Rather than the ‘body-centered’ service of earlier years, today the profession is much more knowledge-based.
From a financial perspective, funeral directors have seen the profit margin reduce quite significantly. This has led to many expanding their range of services and products, including online obituaries and creative keepsakes.
Funeral directors will have to continue adapting their services for many years to come. However, whatever changes the future may bring, their role will remain sensitive and practical.
—
With origins dating back to 1853, E.F. Box are one of the oldest funeral directors within the UK. They offer a range of funeral services across a variety of faiths, beliefs and ways of celebrating life.
Memorials and headstones are available in many different materials, colors and sizes, and so choosing between them can be confusing.
You should start with the color. What was your loved ones favorite color? Granite headstones come in pretty much every color, so do not think that you are restricted to choosing from black, gray and white. The majority of cemeteries permit various colors of headstones and memorials, unfortunately churchyards are stricter. Your cemetery or churchyard should be able to provide you with a copy of their rules and regulations.
Once you have chosen the color, spend some time thinking about what writing should be engraved onto the headstone or memorial. You should definitely include the name of the deceased, and the dates of their birth and death, but the rest of the epitaph is free for you to add your messages of love or favorite sayings.
Most headstones and memorials come in set sizes. Bigger is not necessarily mean better; a smaller, better quality one can be equally as nice. Churchyards will only permit headstones or memorials up to a maximum height, but most cemeteries will allow them to be any size. You can also personalize the headstone or memorial with a design too. Many different designs are available to be sandblasted or laser etched on to it. These can range from simple flower headers and crosses to a portrait of your loved one, or engravings of their favorite pastime or pet.
You can get ideas by looking on the Internet, as there are lots of websites that have online catalogs of headstones and memorials. You can also take a walk around a churchyard or cemetery near where you live to see which styles you prefer. As with everything in life, prices will vary and are negotiable, so be sure to enquire about discounts and be prepared to visit at least a few stores. Once your order has been placed, you can expect the memorial or headstone to be completed in less than a month.
—
You are now ready to take your memorial design to a memorial mason.
Funeral directing has changed a lot since it first began to emerge as a profession over two hundred years ago. For years, funerals were arranged by people who just did it part time alongside their day job, who often did it just because it had become their family’s traditional role within the community. They arranged for someone to prepare the body (often referred to as ‘the layer out’) and organized the coffin maker and grave digger. Finally, the funeral service would be conducted in a churchyard by a minister.
Funerals were strongly community-centered and those preparing the bodies were very often the same women who acted as midwives. Now, the role of the undertaker has evolved from this community base and the majority of those involved in funeral directing today are in firms with a long, established family history.
Once the coffin was made, it was then taken to the house of the deceased by the undertaker and his men. If the doorway was too narrow, as it often was in those days, the undertaker’s carpenter had to remove windows for the coffin to be taken inside. This process then had to be repeated when the coffin was later removed for the funeral.
Families chose the front room or parlor as the final resting place for their loved one, who would be laid out in their best clothes and who would be left with the family until the day of the funeral. During this time relatives and family members would come to pay their respects. The Chapels of Rest that we are familiar with in funeral establishments today did not appear until the 1950s.
With the coffin set on trestles in the parlor, candles would be arranged either side and a small altar set up at the foot of it. As embalming was reserved only for very wealthy clients, the undertaker would make regular visits to the house to ensure that the body remained in a bearable condition. It was common practice for families to place fragrant flowers around the room to hide the unpleasant odors which naturally arose.
On the day of the funeral, which usually took place three or four days after death, the family and friends lined up outside their homes. With curtains drawn, out of respect, they would stand silently as the cortege passed. The body was nearly always buried in the nearest churchyard, as a fee had to be paid to move the body outside of a town’s boundaries.
—
With origins dating back to 1853, E.F. Box are one of the oldest funeral directors within the UK. They offer a range of funeral director services across a variety of faiths, beliefs and ways of celebrating life.
